Every time I listen to a broken heart it’s like my heart is being squeezed out from it’s place. Yes, it’s hard to gift your heart to someone and get it back all tampered with. Always remember one thing, love is one of the sharpest weapons known to exist but until broken, love is the sweetest emotion too. People may say time heals, but believe me it does not. It’s just that you get used to the pain. It’s another way of adapting to the emptiness the person has left behind and that emptiness can never be filled by anyone. It really is tough to get through but take it light, let yourself walk through. In life there are no accidents and everything happens for a reason. Maybe not today but someday for sure you will come to know the answers. Letting your love walk away takes a great deal more than holding on. So don’t worry you were strong enough to do that you will be strong enough to face anything else in life. When you are in melancholy think of the day you let your love walk away from you. That pain will give you strength to move on in life and help you face any problem. So if you have a broken heart stitch it together with all the love that was given to you and with a smile keep moving. Let the memories become your strength than weakness. Keep smiling. It’s just a matter of a moment. It will soon pass.
To all those sanitary napkin companies out there, all these days you were giving the wrong concept of advertising. Being a girl I can assure it is not the discomfort due to leakage that most of the girls are worried about rather the excruciating pain that we undergo during those days. Your napkin does nothing to stop that so kindly stop advertising the wrong concept of those days. Regarding sleep pattern of those days, ask any girl it’s never a big issue as long as you get to sleep in your own bed. Maybe you will be extra conscious if you have to stay at a friend’s place but never as you say. So kindly stop advertising attention style sleep pose on those days. Regarding the 12 hour long protection, it’s better to advertise come girls embrace infection or the worse cancer. It’s true that people prefer napkins over the old methods but that’s never for the reasons you state. It’s just that we are comfortable and less chance of infection over the old methods. So please grow up and put some logic in your advertisements.
In the midst of heaven’s beauty
There stood a lovely star
They called it “The Lonely Beauty”
Loneliness was her only friend there
At first he was her greatest enemy
She looked him with disgust and hatred
She never tried to see the beauty in his eyes
She always hurt him with stinging words
But still he loved her
When her little heart got wounded
By the beauty of this world
He was the only one to comfort her
But still she hated him
People walked in and out of her life
But no one stayed for long
He waited for her to return
But she never did notice him
At some point in life when all left
She understood the value of him
She accepted the fact of life
World is beautiful only when
We set our minds free
Now she has started loving him
He taught her to see the beauty
That lies within her
Now for her, life is sweeter than ever
Stepping to the tunes of life
She said from the bottom of her heart
Loneliness is my best friend
There I stand alone
And alone I stand with weird dreams
Dreams which were my life once
Once sweet memories which left me alone
Alone in this lonely world
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand with empty eyes
Empty eyes which perceive blankness
And blankness alone which makes life
Life which is meaningless when blank
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand with shattered memories
Memories of my past which I thought my future
My future of which I know nothing
‘Nothing’ the word which describes me
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand in search of my lost light
The light which guided me in dark
Darkness which made me the real me
The real me for whom I am in search of
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand with open mind
Open mind which guide me through
My thoughts which guides my future
My future my life
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand with eyes closed
Eyes closed in deep prayers
Prayers which help regain my lost light
The light which guides me through
And there I stand alone
And alone I stand with new dreams
Dreams which will make my memories
New memories which are sweeter than the lost
Lost memories which I hold back forever
And forever I stand alone
With open mind and closed eyes….
This is just a thanksgiving note to all my special ones. Forgive me if it’s too formal but I can’t help myself saying this. I extend my sincere love and gratitude to all those beloved ones who proved once again that you guys will be there with me through thick and thin. I am so happy to realise the fact that there are real people out there who cares for me apart from my family. So I would say “Feel happy when in trouble, they let you explore the caring minds” and yes I did. I was overwhelmed by the love and care you guys were showering upon me. There were so many unexpected calls and texts that made sure I was getting better. Thank you sweethearts for all those care and love. That was the catalyst that helped me through the healing process. If not for that tender love and care I would still be in my bed or maybe still hoping around ;). Though many were miles away the way you cared made me feel you were right next to me. Though not totally healed but stairs are the only ones that threaten me and the pain has come down a million times. So it’s proven once again, there are no accidents and everything in life happens for a reason.
It’s not every day that one turns 30 and when that happens do it with pleasure. Age gracefully rather than feeling desperate you are aging. When I turn back and look myself I feel gracious on what I am. I feel myself privileged to age because as years pass I find myself drawn towards my inner self satisfying ‘the me’. You may think I am being self-centered. Maybe I am but I think it’s better to be so than living your whole life regretting on what could be done or what-if I decided otherwise. I am one among those few who think being single despite turning 30 is a blessing while my counterparts are busy thinking what to cook for breakfast next day. I am a freewheeling soul and still aim to empty my bucket list though it keeps piling up. To all those who worry about aging, keep smiling and embrace life. When life gives you 100 reasons to cry give life a 1000 more reasons to smile. Stay strong and live as if world ends now. And so that’s how I wish myself a very happy birthday. Many more years to come and many more journeys to be savoured.
PS . Miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep.
To all men who question what is it being a girl
Listen carefully man, it’s simply because I was born a girl.
From the day I was born my mother took extra care to cover me up just because I was born a girl and the evil eyes should never get an evil thought.
As I grew up people insisted to look down and walk just because I was born a girl
When puberty visited it took a roller coaster and I was in a world of restrictions and irritations.
I felt my body change which also brought along a load of fear and I could feel evil eyes on me and could see evil thoughts in them.
And one fine day I felt cramping on my abdomen which crushed me to the ground and I started bleeding. Yes, I also had the same thought as every other girl would have. What next?
And it continued to hit me with pain every month. It took me years to figure out why my emotions keep playing before the red days strike.
Yes, man you may comment anything about controlling emotions or it’s normal for a girl. Yes, you said it and that is what which makes us so special. Every 28 days we bleed for 5 days with excruciating pain and we still make for work with no complaints and with no extra rest. And some times the pain brings visitors also like vomiting, fainting and what not. And you ask what’s so special about being a girl? Dare you to try the emotional play at least once in your lifetime. Experience the depression, the helplessness, the anger and even the suicidal thoughts at least for once. And surviving that makes us special.
And how about being a mother? Can you imagine your body change for another life? Yes changes we undergo for long 9 months, our belly expands, our spine changes shape and again the hormonal game. And how can I ask you not to think about the pregnancy hormone effect; the puke called morning sickness that continues throughout the day for as long as it wish, the craving, the exhaustion. Oh! How I wish the technology be so advanced that I could inject those pregnancy hormones on your body just for you to feel it once and for all.
And we suffer the pain to give another life and you say women are strong enough for that or it’s natural. Yes, you said it and that is what which makes us special. Because you can never tear yourself apart for any reason. And do think the work is over and soon we can join work? So how about the sleepless nights and tiresome days spent to sustain the new life while you enjoy your sound sleep? And your only concern is the number of leaves we enjoy being a mother. Think for yourself man, will you be able to imagine the half of what we undergo. Respect the fact that being born a girl is never an easy task and never degrade yourself to the point of questioning the privileges we enjoy (in your words). It’s not that simple being a girl, it’s simply because I was born a girl.
I was overjoyed with all the somersaults my heart did when I met you. But I could see the melancholy that is yet to follow. It was all love that dominated us. But never did I think that love can turn everything upside down. A small mistake in love or the deepest intimacy can topple everything upside down. I always wanted to have a baby and I could feel the excitement within on the mere thought of being a mother. But this time the story was different. I could sense changes in my body, I could feel the hormones act awkward but it was all love to be blamed. I could sense a life inside me and I was in a dilemma whether to be excited about being a mother (a feeling I always wanted to experience with joy) or to cry my heart out. But I knew the excitement won’t have a longer life as there were people involved. I showed him the two pink lines and tears started streaming down my cheeks. And for the first time since we met words paved way for silence. We both knew what is to be done but didn’t dare to utter a word. After an hour of silence he started to convince me of the only possibility left. I held myself together, clinging my belly, in a vain attempt to protect my baby. My brain clearly knew what is going to follow. Again and again I googled to know how my baby will look like and I mourned like I have never done. I know from the moment I decided to hurt my baby it’s my lifetime peace that I compromised on. But I was helpless as there were many people involved and if I decide otherwise there will be imbalance in many lives. And yes, finally I made myself numb so that I could proceed with maintaining everybody else’s peace and forfeit my peace forever. One thing my love, when you denied me my motherhood I was giving you the chance to enjoy your fatherhood. Now, every time I look at your baby or get to hold her or when she cuddles me, I get reminded, the bundle of joy in your hand is the life you tore apart from me. My baby, not a single day passes by without your thought. Forgive me my child for taking birth in this unlucky mother’s womb and I promise if given a second chance to be a mother I want you to be my child and I will never let anything or anybody hurt you.
P.S. Being a nurse moreover a dedicated friend I am obliged to listen to many stories and this one shattered me.
Hmmm…. Seems like I should pay more attention to my blog….
The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 300 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 5 trips to carry that many people.