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Yes, at times I am two faced. I wish to get married at times but deep in my mind I love my sphinsterhood. The deep rooted fears of leaving my family and taking up the responsibilities gives me a heartache. The non questioning freedom which I enjoy now defines “the me” and compromising it will be like getting myself compromised. If I ever overcome my fear, I wish to be a housewife but at times my deep rooted thoughts support being a working wife. My work is my identity and my family is my life. There is no life without identity and there is no identity without life. My maternal instincts push me to bear a child but my inner fears say no to marriage. Yes, whenever I hold a baby I feel my motherhood being touched. But the thought of giving up everything I love and leading a life in somebody else’s wish is a nightmare for me. I would suggest all the people around who are in search of your life partner, never to go for physical appearance and beauty but rather ask for their preferences. Whether they prefer coffee over tea, whether they sleep with fans turned off or whether they cannot sleep without the sound of it, whether they love books or is it just the opposite, their food habits, whether they cannot tolerate the smell of cigar, whether it’s okay with drinking, is it a modern outfit they prefer or a traditional one, whether they are overly conscious on cleanliness or is it okay anyways. I bet such minute details will help to build a better understanding than going behind physical appearance and looks. Your looks may fade but your habits never.

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